The Underground Onus

There is a cliched joke in movies where a young blond daddies girl is driving a hot pink Ferrari while talking on a cell phone.  She pulls up to a red light and [insert unexpected misfortune]… a bird craps on her hair….her car runs out of gas…she gets mooned by a routy teenage colleague…whatever.  In the case of what I’m about to write about… I am that ungrateful blond daddies girl change sex, age and hair color and substitute red Ferrari with high quality socks

I’m sorry if what I’m about to say is mean.  And I would totally give any of you an allowance to laugh at me if a bird crapped in my hair.

I got hand knitted wool socked delivered to my room care  of “Sock for Soldiers”, a patriotic support group.  And my first instinct is to toss them.  The problem is, I already have socks: high quality syntetic socks which are soft and cool, elasticy and have never once given me trouble.  On top of it, every three months or so my company supply sergeant issues me 3 new pair.  So I have a total of like 20 pair which I’ve accumulated through initial issue and 2 years of being deployed.   I don’t know anyone who needs socks.

But how can you  just throw away hand knitted socks?  The knitter would gasp in terror.  They are nice socks.

There was a typed note that came with the socks.  Here are some excerpts: 

Opening line…
“We at Socks for Soldiers, Inc. want you know what lengths we have gone to show what “Support our Troops” means in the household of each of the 1500 members around the Globe”

It then goes on to talk about how great wool is as a material…

And then what goes into making them…

“Each pair of our socks were hand knitted by a loving patriot from America or one of our allied countries who wanted to show their support in a meaningful way.  One pair of socks can take months to hand knit, with about 47,000 stitches per pair. Even at a drastic savings purchasing the special super wash yarns at wholesale, the average pair of socks can cost about 25-50 for materials”

….

“We knit into our socks our hearts and souls, fears and anxieties, our faith and our best hopes, as well as our prayers for each of you to get the job done and come home.”

On a somewhat related note, My buddy Brad told me this story he herd about an incident during World War II. The factualness of this story is undetermined. Here’s the gist of it.

 Supposedly, a German patrol intercepted a mail convoy to the front.  When they looted the packages they found one which contained a perfectly mint condition full sized cake with frosting and everything.  The German officer took the cake and that night while briefing them in preparation for an offensive used it as an illustration.  He said, “I want you all to look at this cake.  This cake traveled over 3000 miles.  Over country roads, through various postal stations, over sea and then through a war zone. While you are starving in your own country tonight.  Your enemy will be eating cake prepared by his mother 300o miles away.  This is the enemy you will be facing tonight.  This is their confidence and determination to destroy you.” 
((speech added for illustration sake))
Is the purpose of the socks simply to testify to the love and determination of folks back home?  Exclusively a message sent to communicate support?

I wore the socks, they are itchy and hot.  I won’t be wearing them again.  But I might pin them to my wall so as never to forget the person who labored over them for my sake.

Heres my message to Socks for Soldiers.  Don’t waste your time on socks.  Wake up to the fact that we live in a technological age where most hand made items even with the most skillfull attention and concern can not compare to a cheaper and more durable machine made product.  This isn’t true for every product but it is true for socks. 

We are the richest country in the world.  Hundreds of BILLIONS of your tax dollars are spent over here.  That’s right! BILLIONS!  We have more comforts here than you couldn’t ever imagine.  We have a Starbuck equivilent called “Green Beans”  Its hard to be greatful for “stuff”.  I personal have enough “stuff”  I don’t NEED anything. 

It would be unforgiveable for me to let me believe your efforts went to waste.  The message the socks send is powerful and clear.

Its also important to remember that I am only one soldier who happens to be stationed at a very comfortable base in a peacful part of Iraq.  My sentiments cannot be taken to represent all soldiers everywhere in Iraq.  I personally know soldier who are roughing it right now on Combat Outposts without proper showers or plesant food.  There may be some who like wool socks. 

Personally, here are two ways I think your efforts might be better utilized:
1. Quilts (more expensive and probably more labor involved)
2. ART in any form: paintings, photographs, arts and crafts.

If you really want to go crazy.  Do this.  Order an Arabic-English dictionary online.  And then transcribe it all by hand on one of those thick Barns and Noble Journals.  Use two or three volumes if you have to.  The Arabic will be difficult to write at first, but you’ll get used to it after a week or so. Then write in big bold letters on the cover in Arabic and in English:

“ATTENTION IRAQI READER: This Dictionary Was Transcribed By Hand By [INSERT YOUR NAME AND HOMETOWN].  Let this be a testiment to longsuffering and determination of the American people to see that our cause succeeds”  ((need the translation?? email me.))

Last thing, to the person who knitted my socks.  Thank You!  I’m sorry I can’t make better use of them.  In the letter it said you’ll “welcome [me] home with open arms”.  I can’t wait to be home.  People like you are the best thing about America.