The Underground Onus

What is the Chirstmas movie of the new generation?  Our parents had It’s a Wonderful Life.  Those of us between 20 and 40 had A Christmas Story.  The new generation of youngsters must have a Christmas classic of their own.  Its been almost 25 years since A Christmas Story came out!  And truely, its not about those from my generation. Its a movie about our parents generation for our generation

On this Christmas Eve 2007 The Underground Onus is officially endorsing its pick for the NEW CHRISTMAS CLASSIC: ELF

There is a serious reasons why this is my pick.  And I’ll explain by asking some questions.  Bear with me for a second…

 Have you ever wanted to break free from the shackles of society and be a kid again?  You ever wanted to jump on beds in furniture stores? Have you ever found yourself singing Bob Marley alone in the car wishing you could share that joy with someone?  Have you ever wanted to break free from the fears brought on by self consciousness?  Have you ever been maddened by the fact that no statement issued to a consumer has any real meaning anymore?  (“Worlds Best Coffee”) 

Welcome signs are obligatory.  The cheezy mandatory greeting of retail workers which are meant to make you feel cared for, make you feel soul less because the words are so empty.  “welcome to the Gap, Is there anyway that I can help you today” (I don’t know the officially greeting for the Gap, just a poor example) Translation: “How can I assist you in spending as much money as possible on things you may or may not need and things you may or may not want.”

Its cynical but there is reason to be cynical now days. 

Have you ever wanted to love your Mom and Dad and brother and sister, freely, graciously and spontaneously but don’t know how?
Does it bother you that you judge your father mercilessly for wearing Aqua Velva aftershave and wearing too much plaid?  Does it bother you that you judge your mother for wearing Christmas tree pattern sweaters and calling the ceramic ornament that Aunt Hilda made “just darling”? 

Are you tired of the world telling you who can love?  That you can only fall in love with a 120 pound C cup blond or a socially radiant charmer with a white teeth smile who plans to climb Mt Everest while simultaneously writing the first great novel of the 21st century?

What if we find that the family we have is embarrassingly quirky? And the boy or girl that we love has a speech impediment or a big fat mole on their forehead? 

Worse yet what if we find that we ourselves are failures by the world’s standards? We are poor, unintelligent, unacomplished and ugly.

So I ask you again, have you ever wanted to break free from the shackles of society!?

Maybe at no other time is the longing for genuine joy and love felt more than at Christmas time. 

If you……

…..are one to whom those questions resonate.

…..find yourself wholly consumed by our consumer culture and suddenly feel the weight of it at Christmas time

…..believe you are on naughty list  

THERE IS STILL TIME TO CHANGE.  First thing you do is watch Elf then follow these instuctions from the movie:

-Wave at a stranger
-get enthusiastic about crappy coffee
-If you think a girl is pretty, tell her
-If you think a boy is fun, let go of the image
-Keep it real. Wear your real emotions, at home, at work, on the street, in church and in the mall.
-Take your kid brother out for a snowball fight
-Run in circles in a revolving door
-Play hopscotch on white pedestrian lines.
-SING, alone, with someone or in public.
-Remember back to what it was like to be a kid.
-Put meaning back in words.
-Repair things with your Dad.
-Believe in the victory of love (because if you don’t everything disappears, dies and stops working)

Peace to all this Christmas.  And remember the Elf code:

1. Treat everyday like Christmas
2. There is room for everyone on the nice list
3. The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.